Celebrity body talk is everywhere. Your child may comment on a celebrity’s appearance, ask why someone looks different, or start comparing bodies, and you may find yourself wondering what to say.
I was recently quoted in a SheKnows article about how parents can approach conversations like these. While a particular celebrity may be what starts the conversation, I think the bigger opportunity is helping parents know what to do anytime their child comments on someone else’s body.
That could be a celebrity, an influencer, an athlete, or even a classmate.
After more than 25 years specializing in eating disorders and working with children, adolescents, young adults, and their families, I’ve learned that curiosity can be one of the most helpful places for parents to start. It can open the door to a conversation and help you better understand what your child is thinking and what might be worth paying attention to.
What Should I Say When My Child Comments on a Celebrity’s Body?
Start with curiosity rather than correction.
If your child says, “Did you see how skinny that celebrity is?” you don’t have to immediately explain, correct, or reassure them. Instead, try asking:
“What made you notice that?”
or
“What are you thinking about?”
Their answer can tell you so much more than the original comment. Maybe they are simply making an observation. Maybe they are comparing themselves to the celebrity. Maybe they are wondering whether the person is healthy.
Rather than assuming what your child means, get curious.
Help Kids Understand That We Can’t Know Someone’s Health by Looking at Them
I also think these moments are a valuable opportunity to teach children something we need to remind ourselves of, too: we cannot know what is going on in someone’s life simply by looking at their body.
Bodies change for all kinds of reasons, including physical illness, mental health struggles, stress, medications, and eating disorders.
We cannot tell how healthy or happy someone is based on their appearance.
That is a message I want parents to reinforce again and again because children are constantly receiving messages that suggest otherwise.
Be Careful About Turning Concern Into Body Judgment
This is where parents can unintentionally get into trouble.
Comments such as, “They looked healthier before,” may come from genuine concern, but they can still reinforce the idea that bodies are meant to be watched, evaluated, and compared.
Instead, I encourage parents to shift the conversation away from what someone looks like and toward health, well-being, and how someone may be feeling.
We can care about someone’s well-being without making their body the subject of discussion.
Pay Attention to What Your Child’s Comment May Be Telling You
Sometimes a comment about a celebrity really is just a comment. Other times, it can be a window into what your child is thinking about themselves.
I become more curious when I notice a child talking more about dieting, exercise, calories, weight, or changing their body. I also pay attention to increased comparison or growing concern about appearance.
A single comment does not mean your child has an eating disorder. But when you start noticing a pattern, it may be worth slowing down and asking more questions.
You Don’t Have to Wait for a Crisis to Ask for Support
You don’t have to be certain something is wrong before reaching out.
Sometimes you are simply noticing a change and wondering what it means. Sometimes you’re unsure whether to say something or how to respond. Sometimes you just want another perspective.
Those are all valid reasons to ask for help.
Caregiver consultation can give you a place to talk through what you’re seeing, better understand what may be going on, and think through what comes next.
Sometimes the first step isn’t solving the problem. It’s gaining clarity.
The Bigger Conversation
The celebrity your child is talking about today may change. The conversations around bodies, appearance, comparison, food, and exercise are likely to keep coming.
You don’t need the perfect response every time.
Start with curiosity. Avoid judging bodies. Help your child understand that appearance does not tell us the whole story. And pay attention when a comment about someone else’s body starts becoming a reflection of how your child feels about their own.
Sometimes those small moments can open the door to a much bigger conversation.
Eating Disorder Caregiver Support
If you are a parent or caregiver of a child with an eating disorder or the early signs of one, I can help guide you through the recovery journey. Start by filling out my contact form or schedule a complimentary 20 minute phone consultation to see if my services may be a helpful fit for your family.