Supporting Your Child Through an Eating Disorder When You Struggle Too
One of the most powerful and damaging misconceptions about eating disorder recovery is that parents must have it all figured out — especially around food, body image, and wellness culture — in order to help their child heal.
It’s simply not true.
Many parents are quietly navigating their own complex relationships with food and body image. Some may even be living with undiagnosed or active eating disorders themselves. If this is you, your struggles are real and valid — and it does not mean you can’t support your child. In fact, you remain one of the most essential people in their recovery journey.
We All Live in a Diet Culture World
In a society saturated with diet culture messages, it’s unrealistic to believe that any of us — parents, caregivers, or even eating disorder professionals — are completely untouched by it. Odds are high that a parent supporting a child through an eating disorder has experienced some degree of disordered thoughts or behaviors.
While it’s ideal for parents to model complete food freedom and body trust, the reality is often different. Waiting for perfection prevents families from leveraging their most powerful tools: unconditional love, caregiving, and presence.
You Can Support Your Child’s Recovery, Even If You’re Still Struggling
The truth is — you don’t have to be fully healed to be a strong, loving support system for your child. Here’s what truly makes a difference:
Trust the Treatment Team
You may not understand or immediately agree with every recommendation. That’s okay. Placing trust in the professionals guiding your child’s recovery is a vital first step.
Learn to Tolerate Discomfort
It may feel uncomfortable, even “wrong,” to see your child eat foods you avoid or follow a meal plan that challenges your beliefs. Your willingness to sit with this discomfort without acting on it will profoundly impact your child’s recovery.
Stay Curious and Open
Your role as a parent is not invalidated by your struggles. Ask questions. Seek understanding. Be open to learning. Your presence, love, and care matter more than perfection ever could.
Your Love Isn’t Diminished by Your Struggles
You can still help your child even if:
- You mentally count calories.
- Certain foods still scare you.
- You don’t fully grasp concepts like weight neutrality.
- You carry your own body image struggles.
These things don’t disqualify you.
What matters most is your commitment — to learning, to showing up, to offering compassion, and to growing alongside your child’s recovery.
What Eating Disorder Professionals Must Remember
As clinicians and treatment providers, it’s critical to do more than deliver food plans and coping skills. We must offer grace.
Parents who are struggling with their own food and body challenges need:
- Validation for how hard this is
- Space to voice fears without judgment
- Gentle, ongoing education
- Respect for the courage it takes to challenge diet culture and deeply ingrained beliefs
By creating a safe, compassionate environment for parents, we empower them to do the same for their child.
Final Thoughts: You Are Enough
If you’re a parent wondering if you’re capable of supporting your child’s eating disorder recovery while navigating your own relationship with food, please know this:
You are not alone.
You are not disqualified.
You are still exactly the parent your child needs.
With professional guidance, family-centered support, and self-compassion, you can play a powerful, healing role in your child’s recovery. Learn more on my website.